It's been too long...

Update:
Well, it has been a while. I am now 24 weeks pregnant with my SON, Liam Barack. My Hubs2Be is now my Hubz; we were married on the beach of the Gulf of Mexico on Galveston Island on November 10, 2012. Yay! To sum up my absence, I was afraid. During my last post I was dealing with a lot of bleeding and spotting. I was terrified that I would miscarry as I did about 8 years ago. I didn't want to jinx it by writing about it. Luckily, my son is healthy and my pregnancy has been wonderful since about 10 weeks.

Family:
Today my aunt passed and it was a wake up call to really appreciate my family. I think this blog will help my son to understand how much I loved and thought about him before he was even born should something ever happen to me. I hate that my son will never get to see my aunt's smile, hear her laugh, or listen to her speak about our history. She and my uncle have been together since they were 15. My prayers go out to him as he has to learn how to live without her for the first time in his life.

Weight:
Yesterday I had a break down about my weight I was about 128lbs pre-pregnancy. In the first trimester I remained in the low 130's. But in the second trimester all hell broke loose! At about 20 weeks I was 143! The most that I have ever weighed. I cried...a lot. This time I weighed in at 151 pounds! I could have passed out when she had to move the second beam on the scale. My doctor says that if I can watch what I eat from now on then I can limit the rest of my weight gain to 16 lbs for the rest of the pregnancy which would put me at 167. I know that I should be focusing on the positive; my son is healthy, my husband is awesome, and we are blessed. But I can't hold back the tears when I think about my weight. I guess I never thought much about my weight in the past because it's never been an issue. I truly applaud over weight women who still feel confident and have healthy body images.


Work:
Work has been great! However, my student teacher's last day was Friday. She helped me out SO much and I know that things will get a little overwhelming without her.

Marriage:
So far, I have been a wife for 3 days now. I have cooked and cleaned everyday so far. Gender roles are very much perpetuated in America and I hate to buy into it but I can't help it. *Shrugs shoulders* Ah Well!

11 weeks

Constipation: <--- Great way to begin a conversation, huh? Well, that's just one of many prego people problems! lol. Colase has been my best friend lately. Scientifically our bodies are producing Relaxin which slows down our digestive system. But physically it just makes one feel incredibly bloated and plain ole' uncomfortable. My doc suggested colase stool softener but never mentioned the frequency of dosage so I try not to take more than 4 per week. While we're talking about pills, I am trying very hard to take my prenatal pills everyday but they make me feel terrible. Seriously, it's 2012 so why the hell are these pills so huge? We live in a world where everything is compact (compact cars, compact apartments, compact CPU's, compact discs, compact make-up/mirrors) so why are these pills as large as sub sandwiches? Ugh! Blame that rant on a combination of hormones and fish oil after taste:)

Wedding Bells: I found the perfect venue for my wedding at The Duke Mansion in Charlotte, NC where the Hubz2B is from. Too bad it's booked through 2013. This may sound stupid in such an "anything goes" world that we currently live in but it is very important to me to be married in 2012 before my baby arrives. The baby is due 3/1/2013 and by the time my baby is old enough to do the math which will show that I was already prego before I married dad, they won't care (hopefully).  I guess this is the perfect time to offer some background on the Hubz2B and I.

Our Story: We met in 2007 on spring break in Miami when we were both seniors in college. It was supposed to be my first one night stand but he was sooooo cute! College football player, big muscles, beautiful smile, and a southern accent that this Midwestern girl just couldn't get enough of. We kept in touch and visited each other a few times. A year later, we started dating. Shortly after I was offered a job in Houston. He moved down a few months later. We broke up in December 2010. We remained friends over the years. Then on May 28, 2012 he proposed to me out of the blue. We went from friends to engaged within seconds. It took me a while to warm up to the idea as I was totally blind-sided. And then on June 24, 2012 we found out that we were pregnant. We conceived on June 9, 2012. Unfortunately and fortunately, he was blessed with his dream job at the Pentagon and would have to move to D.C. which meant that I would spend my pregnancy all alone:) I planned to move to D.C. during my maternity leave but having recently received my principal certification I'm kind of torn as I have my own career goals to pursue. It's a lot to think about but as my pregnancy becomes more and more "real", I am trying to take myself out of the equation so that I can make decisions in the best interest of my child.

Weird Dreams: Since I've been prego I have had some of the craziest dreams ever. The other night I dreamt that I was trying to breast feed but blood was trickling out of my nipples instead of milk. I remember feeling anxious and afraid that my baby wasn't getting enough to eat and the pain was excruciating! That dream had me a bit upset but I won't let it deter me from breastfeeding.

Back-to-school: I am a teacher so I've been on summer vacation during my entire 1st trimester. This has been a blessing since I'm on bed rest. I'm nervous about returning to work. I'm starting at a new school in a new grade level which includes the STAAR test ( a high stakes state test). I'm afraid to tell my boss because I'm sure he won't be happy about a 4th grade teacher being on maternity leave during the STAAR test administration. Also, right now I get to nap and snack allllll day. How will I even stay awake at work, let alone be productive? Furthermore, kids stink. I love them but they do. How will that affect my nausea? On top of it all, I'll be all alone in this big city (Houston), with my family and Hubz2B thousands of miles away:(

10 weeks, 6 days

Whew! What a roller coaster thus far.

Spotting: I have had bouts of spotting on and off since week 6. In week 9 it was really bad. And prego women let me tell you, Google is evil. I mean reading all of the posts about spotting had me convinced that I was miscarrying. My hubby-to-be works in D.C. and I had even phoned him to tell him about the miscarriage. I went to my scheduled check up and I told the doctor the news. All of the bleeding and passing of tissue mixed with reading every post ever written about spotting/bleeding had me prepared to hear the worst. During the ultrasound I continued to read my Forbes magazine so that I wouldn't break down when I heard the news. Seconds felt like hours and finally the doctor said, "Hi Mommy!" I looked at the monitor and saw my baby but I wasn't getting my hopes up. About 8 years ago I had a missed miscarriage where I went in for a 12 week ultrasound and I was so excited to see my baby on the screen only to be told seconds later that there was no heart beat:( So this time, I wasn't falling for the old "baby on the screen" trick. But then I saw it. I saw a little flicker. My baby's heart was beating! I immediately burst into tears of blissful joy. I couldn't believe that my child had hung in there after all of the bleeding and an open cervix. More than anything, my child became my hero as s/he was so strong, resilient, and determined to be here. I don't know what my child's purpose in life will be but I know that s/he was meant to be here for something and can't wait to support my child in becoming whomever and doing whatever it is that God has written for her/him.

I spoke with an old friend from college about it and she had experience spotting/bleeding throughout the entirety of two of her pregnancies and she went on to deliver beautiful healthy babies. This gave me so much hope. As of right now I am on bedrest until 13 weeks prego. It's boring but it's worth it. I did get out of bed to make it to my graduation. I finished my Master of Education last week! Woo hoo!! My mom and hubz-2-B both flew in and spoiled me. Mom made me a billion meals (meatloaf, lasagna, spinach dip, pasta salad, pork roast, sauerkraut, collard greens, and ox tails and gravy) and cleaned up my apartment:) The hubz2B BBQ'd my fave kabobs and waited on me hand and foot. I feel very blessed. AND the spotting has stopped. Thank you Jesus!

Symptoms: My breasts now spilleth over in my already abundant 34 D bras and they are still super sore. I am still pretty tired but no where near as bad as it was in previous weeks. I still "spit up" a lot in my mouth but the nauseous feeling is substantially less than before. The only thing that gets worse every day is flatulence:( I mean it's bad! My poor, poor hubz2B! I try to warn him so that he has a chance to run! Also I am getting hairy. I've never had to shave my legs in pre-prego but now I look half were-wolf from the waist down. I shaved my legs last week and the hair is already back, ugh! Well, I guess I was always team Jacob so now I'm living it, lol.

Measurements: Pre-prego I was happily 35-25-36. Today I am 36- 27.5 -37. I can feel my uterus at the top of my pubic hair (TMI) and it feels like a softball.

7 weeks, 6 days

Well, where do I begin? Hi my name is Ashley and I'm pregnant. Woo Hoo!!!
It's about 11:00pm and I can't sleep. Why? Because nowadays I sleep on and off ALL day. It's almost as though the baby drains every ounce of energy from my body and then leaves me with nothing. The good thing is that I'm a teacher and I am currently on summer vacation. I couldn't even imagine going to work feeling so fatigued all day while wrangling 20 eight years olds:) However, I am in the last semester of my graduate program and I have a ton of writing to catch up on. Someone described first trimester fatigue as "running a marathon without any previous training." So true! But hey, if this is what it takes for my baby to grow and develop healthily then so be it.
So far I've had four ultrasounds. We found out by way of home pregnancy test on June 24th. We went to the abortion clinic on June 27th. I know it sounds bad. But we were both moving up in our careers and my fiance' was moving to DC in a few weeks. I didn't want to spend my entire pregnancy alone and I definitely didn't want to give up my career after I was finally in the position that I'd worked so hard for. Needless to say, we did not get an abortion. We are both close to 30, have great careers, several degrees and certifications, and we've been together(on and off) for five years. It didn't take us long to realize that we considered abortion simply because we were selfish. So anyway, no abortion but we did get an ultrasound. On this ultrasound, nothing showed up. After a taking another preggo test with a positive result, the doctor discussed the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy (tubal pregnancy). I freaked out. We left the abortion clinic which by the way was super packed and went to The Breakfast Klub to discuss our situation.
The next day we went to an OBGYN to discuss the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. We had another ultrasound with no baby in sight:( He checked my ovaries and fallopian tubes via ultrasound and said that he did not notice anything abnormal that would suggest an ectopic pregnancy. Whew!The doctor rescheduled us for the following Monday. My HCG level was 489 and he calculated that the numbers should have multiplied enough by Monday for us to see a baby in either my uterus or fallopian tube.

Finally, we saw the baby on the ultrasound which meant that the pregnancy was NOT ectopic...YES!!!!! So far, so good. Thank you Jesus.